Thread: Random Short Fics

Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile | The Onion - America's Finest News Source | Onion News Network

At first it was hilarious cuz these ppl r fuucking morons but then wat they said about pATTIE WAS TAKING IT OVER BOARD!! WHO does that kinda shiit, Callin someones mom a prostitute. ugh! maybe im takin it a lil too serious but that was wrong

Dude, WTF IS WITH THAT VIDEO????? Who the hell would go to such lengths to create a cra'p story like that?!?!? With "professional psychologists" and "chiefs of the police department" jerks don't have a freaking life. <--- from this display of my outburtness I don't think u were over reacting. Totally justified.

lol haterz gon hate...

hope yall enjoy. PEACE

"Justin Pleassssseee!!! Just this once," I pleaded.

"No way. What do I look like?"

"A potential client."

"No!!!"

"I wont steal your black, gold, grey, black and yellow, or green credit card. I'll only take the pink one. Just do this please!!"

"No and you know I only have that credit card because they sent me the wrong one," he said glaring at me.

"Justin no one will recognize you. You'll blend in. I promise."

He sighed.

"Pinky promise me that you will tell NO ONE about this," he said extending his pinky.

I jumped with joy and hooked his pinky with mine.

"You're gonna love it," i said hugging him.

"Of course I am. I just love dressing up like a girl," he said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes at him and dragged him into the bathroom. I made him sit on the toilet while I grabbed some make up.

"What are you doing with that?"

"I have to make you look like a girl," i said to him.

"Im gonna regret this," he said.

"Most likely."

i pushed his hair back and started applying concealer and foundation to his face.

"Practice talking to me," i told him.

"Practice?"

"You're girl voice."

"Uhh... umm... Hey Girlfriend! Can't believe he did that. He's such a jerk," he said in his attempted girly voice. He sounded like John Travolta in Hair Spray.

"Uhhhh... NA! Try again."

He talked again and again and again until he got the perfect voice. Almost sounded like Katy Perry.

"Good."

I was finishing his eyelids. It was a smokey eye and I was applying pinkish lip gloss to his lips. I looked at him but something was missing. I dug in my bag and found eyeliner. i took it out and applied it to his eyes.

"So how do I look," he said smiling femininely.

"Gorgeous," i said.

I pulled out my camera and took a picture of him. I dragged him from the bathroom to my room. I rummaged through my closet and found a padded bra.

"What is THAT?"

"A bra," I said.

"Oh you need a new one to put on?"

"No you do."

"No Alex. No," he screamed.

"Justin this is part of the deal."

His eye twitched and he took of his shirt. I helped him put on the bra and then we stuffed it with paper. I stepped back and did a test squeeze.

"Feels good."

He laughed at me.

"I didnt know you knew what boobs felt like," he said.

"Well I mean i dont have my own on my chess."

"Good point."

"Yeah Einstein," i said.

I grabbed a deep purple dress from my closet and made him change into it.

"Dont mess up the make-up," I yelled as I changed into a skirt and shirt.

He came out and I couldnt help but laugh. He looked so weird. His shoulders were so wide in the tight dress and his legs were soooo HAIRY!! I shook my head no.

I found a pair of Skinny Jeans in my sisters room and tossed them at him. He put them on and I gave him a red shirt and he put that on too. I looked him over and smiled.

"Much better," I said.

He nodded.

I bent down by my bed and grabbed a box. I pulled it out and opened it. There was a wig in there. It was brown and loosely curled. Just perfect for justin.

"Why do you have that," Justin asked.

"Its for you. Ive been saving it for you," i said pulling it out of its wrapping.

He shook his head and I made him sit down while I put it on. I pushed the hair back with a red head band.

I noticed that he had on no shoes and I ran to my closet and found one of the many Supras he left in my room and grabbed them. I ran and made him put them on. They looked more feminine then the ones he usually wears.

I made him look over himself in a mirror and he checked himself out.

"Im hot," he said.

"Even in girl form," I said.

he nodded. i shook my head and slipped on some white ballerina flats. Then I grabbed Justin from the bathroom and we went to Vanity Dreams. Its a club that plays all sorts of music and stuff.

When we got there we got a table and started drinking. After a while a guy asked me to dance and I left Justin at the table.

JB POV


I was sitting at my table looking at this fine girl who was giving me some looks. I was gonna go over there and whisper something to her, but then I remembered I was dressed like a girl and she was most likely a lesbian... but then thats better. Right?

Who cares? I was looking at her when this guy sat next to me. I looked at him and went back to staring at the girl.

"Hey my name is Derek," he said whispering in my ear.

I pushed him off of me and almost broke character.

"Get out of my face," i said in my girly voice.

"You're a fine piece of vanilla cake you know that?"

"Im gonna ignore you now."

I moved closer to the wall and farther away from him.

"I like a girl who plays hard to get," he said putting his hand right near my crotch.

OH HELL NO!!!! NO DIS MUTHAFUUCKER DID NOT!!

I looked at him and punched him out. i pounced on him and beat the shiit out of him until security came and kicked me and Alex out.

We walked to the car and the whole while she laughed at me.

"Justin Drew Bieber you are aggressive," she said.

"Oh sorry bout that I was PMSing," i said sarcastically.

she hugged me.

"HAHAAHAHAHHA! i love you."

"I only like these boobs!"




yeah so I dressed Justin lik a girl and it waas pretty fun I have the pics in my cam.... I WISH!!! I got the idea from when I was younger and my mom dressed my uncle and his friend up lik grls and made them go to Taco Bell and act like Drag Queens!!!! Good times!!! ENJOY

LOL DUDE. LMFAO AND ROTFTIDFL BUAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS HELL FUNNY.

WTF.! HAHA Just love it! I'm going try that one my friend tonight

Okay so in order for me to do this you have to be familiar with the Justin's in the picture.
Blue Jacket Justin is a jerk. Mic Justin is Singy Justin. Red Flower Justin is romantic Justin. Red shirt Justin is innocent Justin. Peace Sign Justin is laid back Justin. and Grey Jacket Justin is moody Justin.

*_*_*_*_*_*

I swear I'm going crazy! I'm not sure what the hell is going on anymore.

"Justin just calm down," Kenny said eyeing me as I paced the room.

"I can't Kenny. I'm so freaking emotionally unbalanced! I have a date this afternoon and now ya'll got me here with this crazy a'ss scientist man. And he don't know what he doing AT ALL!!!! I'm freaking losing it," i yelled.

So instead of being on this amazing date with this fan I met at my concert last night, I'm about to walk into a big oven to be cloned. How the hell did this happen? I'm not really sure myself, okay?

"It's gonna be okay and you'll make it in time for your date, I promise," he said extending his pinky.

I hooked it with mine knowing he was now bound to get me there before she left. The Crazy Scientist Dude comes in all crazy scientist like and smiles at me all crazy scientist-y.

"Vell, Mr Bieber. please vollow me to the room," he said with a thick russian accent.

I screwed my face up and followed him and walked into the big oven thing.

To be honest the process didn't really hurt. I just stood in their and then it got hot and the next thing i knew there were 6 other me's in the oven.

I walked out of the thing and fell flat on my face.

End of story. I conked out and missed my date... or that's what I thought.

*-*-*-*-*-*-

Christy POV

five minutes I've been waiting for Justin Bieber. I can't really say that I'm mad. I just can't believe he wanted to meet with me.

I squealed in my head. I decided I was gonna leave after five minutes passed.

The minutes passed. i slurped the last of my smoothie and packed my bag to leave. As i got up to leave Justin barged into the doors and smile instantly flew onto my face.

He walked up to me with a hand behind his back. When he got to me he pulled out a bouquet of flowers. I smiled broadly and took the flowers.

"My cheri," he said romantically, "These red flowers represent my undying love for you."

I was speechless.

he grabbed my hand and kissed. I was so star struck.

"Please sit my love. Your beautiful feet must be aching and not to mention how your back must be feeling because you slouch," he said pulling a chair out.

The first part was nice but the slouch thing... do i really slouch?

I sat and fixed the flowers in my lap. I rested my hand on the table and grabbed them putting them in his hands against his face.

"You're eyes are so beautiful. Like the starry sky. I swear to you when I saw you i said to myself "That girl right there will never belong to anyone, because I'll have her. I love her."

Now maybe I should be freaking but this was Justin Bieber we were talking about. I stared into those beautiful brown eyes and felt gravity giving way as we brought our heads closer.

so close!

"Justin!"

I looked and saw Kenny bounding over to take Justin away. Justin fought him.

"No my Love! I promise we will be together again! I swear it on our love," he yelled.

I sat in the chair trying to annualize what had just happened when another figure sat across from me. I looked up it was justin but he was wearing a blue jacket.

I smiled.

"Justin you're back," i said happily.

He put his hand up.

"Cut the chit chat chick! I want a milkshake, a greasy burger, and dies, and don't forget my large sprite," he said rudely.

I swear I wanted to cry.

"Aw don't give me that look! Go get my stuff!"

He was being such a jerk, but I got up anyway and ordered his food. When I walked to the seat Justin was sitting there with a red shirt. I approached him caution.

i threw the food down at him and the milkshake spilled on his shirt. He jumped and started crying. I felt bad. i grabbed some napkin and helped him clean it up.

"I'm so sorry. I- i dint mean to drop that," i apologized.

he looked up at me all innocent and stuff and i felt so bad for being mad at him.

"It's okay I guess. It was an accident," he said softly.

I nodded.

He smiled unsure and pushed his hair out of his face. The stain was still pretty wet and justin was shivering.

"I think I'm gonna clean this in the bathroom," he said.

i nodded and felt so bad. I banged my head on the table and when i looked up Justin was sitting in front of me with a mic in his hand.

"Hello," i said with a soft smile.

"You had me at hello, hello, hello," he said singing beyonce's song Hello.

I was sooo confused.

"Umm okay. You know I think I'm gonna go."

"Baby please don't goooo." (mike poser)

"I don't get you. Just a second ago you were a jerk and now-"

"I'm a jerk I know. I'm a jerk I know." (new boyz)

Now I knew why fans don't go out with celebrities.... they're freaking crazy.

A little kid came up to us.

"you guys wanna see something cool?"

"Because I'm cool like that. I'm cool like that..." (idr)

Kenny came in and threw the singing Justin over his shoulder and they disappeared. I gathered my bags as quick as possible and ran smack dab into... Justin.

He was wearing a purple long sleeve.

"Yo dude you like ran right into me," he said as if he was high.

i nodded my head with a crazy look on my face.

"Can you please move," i asked.

"Wo, wo, wo Lady. What's the hurry?"

I looked up at him and he had the dumbest look on his face. This dude had to be high or just really calm.

"Lets talk about it," he said.

I shook my head really slow to emphasize that i just wanted to leave. "No."

I pushed past him and open the door as I walk i trip over someone and fall onto the floor. When i look at the floor I see Justin on the floor.

He's wearing a grey hoodie.

"I know you hate me but that was mean," he whined.

I rolled my eyes. WHY ME!?!

"The world hates me."

now I felt bad.

"No that's not true we love you," I said.

He shook his greasy hair and looked up at me with his big brown eyes and i believed him. But i was still too crazy to really care.

"Umm ya know. really nice meeting ya but i gotta go. Peace.. love ... whatever," i said running away with what was left of my sanity.

_*_*_*_*_ JB POV

Christy: Yesterday was crazy... but strangely i liked maybe we can do it again

What is she talking about?

i hope ya'll enjoyed and understood what happened and why hasn't she learned anything???