Chapter 1: Justin Bieber vs. P*rn
“OH.MY.GOD. Have you heard about Justin Bieber’s golden ticket?!”
“Oh-em-gee, yes! Of course! I almost fainted from excitement when I heard about it!”
“This is awesome! I am so going to buy all the Justin Bieber CDs in the world until I get that golden ticket!”
“Not if I get it first!”
“God. Just imagine meeting Justin Bieber in person!”
“EEEEEKKKKKKK!”
I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker as loudly as possible, making the two most annoying girls beside me jump in surprise. They turned to me and gave me a dirty look, I smiled at them sweetly and walked towards the cafeteria with my books in hand. When I got there, I quickly saw Ryan, my gay best friend of three years, beckoning me over to his table with a grin.
“What's with the face?” he asked as I sat down beside him.
“What else? Bieber Fever.” I snorted, munching on his nachos. The cookie slipped from his hands.
“I can’t believe how stupid people are for liking that little munchkin…” I continued.
The hype was really starting to get on my nerves. I hear about Justin Bieber more than I hear people acknowledging my existence in school. Thinking about his undeserved fame irked me even more and thus, I was already paving my way towards one of my restless rants.
“I can’t say I blame them. They really must have an awful illness hence the term ‘Bieber Fever’...”
“Or maybe they just have an ear infection..."
“Oh! And also, partial blindness.”
The rant went on for about ten minutes with me mentioning something about how Justin was the cause of global warming. Finally, I finished ranting.
“God, I pity them. It’s a good thing you and I have been vaccinated from catching this awful fever, huh?” I said, laughing joyfully and nudging him on the shoulder. He laughed awkwardly, squirming uncomfortably in his seat.
A noisy crumpling sound alerted me.
I eyed my surroundings and quickly caught a glimpse of gold behind Ryan’s back.
“What’s that?” I asked instantaneously, lifting my head briefly to where the mystery item was being hidden.
“What’s what?” he returned innocently, pretending to look as though doesn’t know anything.
“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean.” I pressed knowingly, straining my head to see behind his back.
“I don't know what you're talking about. All I have behind me is my butt and trust me, it's not a very interesting sight to see.” He chuckled, shaking his head at me.
“Don’t you shake your head at me Mister, lemme see it!” I said in frustration, lunging at him before his reflexes could react.
He quickly grabbed my arms just as I was about to pull it.
“Stop it Lexi, it’s nothing you want to see!” he hissed quietly, struggling to get a tighter grip on my arms. “What is it then?” I asked once more, staring him straight in the eyes.
He stared straight back at me. He got quiet for a moment.
And…
“P*rn.” he said simply. I stared back at him in silence.
“I’m sorry, what?” I said, burrowing my eyebrows.
“P*rn.” He said more loudly, slightly irritated.
“What?” I asked again loudly, bringing my ear closer to his face.
“P*rn!” he exclaimed loudly, completely frustrated.
A few heads turned in our direction, I snickered quietly. It’s fun hearing him say p*rn.
My eyes widened as I looked behind him.
“Oh sh*t.” I squeaked. “Err, good morning, principal Benson” I said awkwardly.
Ryan completely stiffened and released me, turning around to face the principal.
Only, there wasn’t any principal behind him.
“Ha!” I exclaimed joyfully, pulling out the mystery item.
It was Ryan’s large gold envelope.
Every time he places his paperworks in there, he always receives an ‘A’. Always. It was his lucky envelope.
“Hey, what's the gold envelope for? The teachers haven’t given us any schoolwork.” I asked, puzzled. He looked down at the floor in silence.
I bit my lip and slowly opened the envelope.
Adrenaline and anxiety pumped through me as though I was about to unravel a treasure map.
As I reached inside, I felt something square and hard held within my grasp.
If this really turned out to be p*rn, I am going to need to cut my hand off.
I closed my eyes as I pulled out the mysterious item from the envelope.
Three.
Two.
One.
I opened my eyes.
Justin Bieber: My World 2.0
I blinked.
I looked at the image of Justin Bieber’s face staring at me and then at Ryan, who became a mute all of a sudden. I opened my mouth, but no words would come out of it.
We sat there in awkward silence. Minutes passed by.
“Fine, I admit it.” He suddenly said.
Ryan sighed in defeat, shame evident in his face. He lifted his head and looked at me square in the eyes.
“I caught the Bieber Fever.”
Well, wasn’t that unexpected?
It took me a moment to register this information in my mind.
“Wow.” I finally said, disbelief nagging at me.
“Wow indeed.” he breathed out, scratching his head.
“Err… how long has this been going on?”
“Three months ago. I hated him when ‘One Time’ came out but started liking him after ‘One Less Lonely Girl’. I felt like he was singing to me.” he admitted, smiling sheepishly.
I grew quiet for a couple of minutes, trying to take it all in. I felt myself suddenly smiling in amusement.
“How, may I ask? How did you get that feeling? The song’s ‘One Less Lonely Girl’. Emphasis on the
‘Girl.’” I said, smirking at him teasingly.
“Really? I keep hearing
‘gay’ instead of
‘girl’.” He replied, grinning broadly. I laughed slightly and put my hand on his shoulder.
“You didn’t have to hide it from me, you know. I wouldn’t have cared and I would’ve shut up about all my Justin Bieber complaints if I’d known you like him. It would’ve been fine.” I tell him earnestly.
“I know, I’m sorry. I was just… embarrassed. I didn’t expect it to happen at all. One minute I hate the guy and the next I’m dancing to ‘Baby’, butt naked, while I’m in the shower. It’s weird… but I just couldn’t help it.” He confessed, guilt on his face.
“The symptoms of Bieber Fever, my friend.” I said sympathetically, patting him on the back.
We smiled at each other, glad that the secret was out. I really couldn’t care less if he loves Justin Bieber. I wasn’t stupid enough to stop being friends with him just because he wasn’t on the ‘Anti-Bieber wagon’ with me. Our relationship is way past fighting over a boy, if that even counts.
“Don’t worry. I won’t let Justin Bieber get in the way of our friendship.” I said, raising my right hand and pledging wholeheartedly as though we were in a bizarre love triangle with him.
“Me too. There will be other Justin Biebers in our lives.” He said, doing the same thing I did.
“God. I hope not!” I exclaimed half-seriously, He laughed nonetheless.
“Thank you for understanding.” He whispered, sincerity in his eyes. I hugged him.
“Bieber fan or Bieber hater, I love you either way.” I told him with a smile and a wink.
I laughed abruptly.
“But… p*rn? Really?” I said, laughing.
“I figured you’d take p*rn any day than Justin Bieber.” I thought about it for a few seconds.
“You’re right. p*rn is way better than Justin Bieber.” I ducked as he threw a fry at my head.
“How about Justin Bieber starring in p*rn? Oh my God, that would be amazing.” He said dreamily, sighing like a little school girl.
“Ewww!” I exclaimed laughing, throwing a handful of fries back at him.
‘I’m coming for you, one less lonely girl…
I’m coming for you, one less lonely girl…
I’m coming for you, one less lonely girl…
There’s gonna be one less lonely girl...’
I glared at Ryan as he laughed his ass off from my ringtone.
“I love it when you lose a bet.” He exclaimed, still laughing.
I glared at him one more time as I answered my call.
“What’s up, mom?” I said, sighing.
"What's up?
What's up? I'll you
what's up. Do you know what day it is in two days?" mom said heatedly.
I shrugged to myself. "Uh, the day you need to take relax and take a chill pill?"
I could feel the glare radiating off the phone.
"It's your sister's birthday! You haven't brought her a present, have you?"
I scoffed. "Isn't my will not to strangle her everyday a good enough present?"
My mom sighed at me sadly. "Just get her something. Please, dear."
I closed my phone and banged my head on the table. “What was that about?” Ryan asked.
“It’s my sister’s birthday party in two days and I have to get her a present.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll help you think of a gift. Do you notice anything at all that she likes or needs?"
“Uhm, a leash?”
I looked up and see him staring at me sternly. I sighed.
“I don’t know, okay? It’s not like we stay up all night talking about crushes and Hannah Montana. I’ll just get her a toothbrush. You could never go wrong with a toothbrush.” I said, proud at my idea of a gift. He raised one eyebrow at me.
“What? It’s hygienic!”
“Come on, put a little more effort into this. Think hard. What do you think she’ll love?” he asked slowly as though I’m mentally challenged. I rubbed my chin and started to think about it.
Think.
Think.
Brain blast!
I smiled widely.
“Well?” he asked, creeped out with my smile.
I grabbed hold of his CD and raised it with my right hand.
I grinned smugly.
“Where did you buy the Justin Bieber CD?”
1Likes
Immune to The Bieber Fever
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by ZigZag<33
